These Phrases shared by A Dad Which Rescued Me during my time as a New Parent

"I think I was simply in survival mode for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey thought he would to manage the challenges of fatherhood.

Yet the truth quickly became "utterly different" to his expectations.

Severe health complications surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver as well as taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, every change… every walk. The duty of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he became exhausted. That was when a chat with his parent, on a public seat, that led him to understand he needed help.

The simple phrases "You're not in a good spot. You must get assistance. What can I do to help you?" created an opening for Ryan to express himself truthfully, ask for help and regain his footing.

His story is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. While the public is now more comfortable discussing the stress on moms and about post-natal depression, less is said about the difficulties fathers face.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan feels his struggles are symptomatic of a broader reluctance to talk amongst men, who often absorb damaging notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the harbour wall that just gets smashed and remains standing with each wave."

"It isn't a show of failure to seek help. I didn't do that quick enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert who studies mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - especially in preference to a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental well-being is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the chance to ask for a break - going on a few days overseas, away from the home environment, to see things clearly.

He realised he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of caring for a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she needed" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That insight has reshaped how Ryan views being a dad.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotion and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen lacked consistent male a father figure. Even with having an "amazing" bond with his dad, profound emotional pain resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says bottling up emotions led him to make "bad actions" when he was younger to alter how he was feeling, turning in alcohol and substances as an escape from the pain.

"You turn to things that aren't helpful," he explains. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Getting By as a New Dad

• Open up to someone - when you are overwhelmed, speak to a family member, your other half or a counsellor how you're feeling. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the activities that helped you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. It could be going for a run, meeting up with mates or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the body - nutritious food, staying active and where possible, resting, all play a role in how your emotional health is faring.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - sharing their experiences, the messy ones, and also the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help does not mean you've failed - prioritising your own well-being is the best way you can look after your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - processing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men since they faced their pain, transformed how they communicate, and learned to control themselves for their children.

"I'm better… processing things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, on occasion I feel like my role is to instruct and tell you how to behave, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am discovering an equal amount as you are in this journey."