🔗 Share this article Navigating my Yearning for Casual Encounters Whilst Pursuing a Meaningful Relationship Being a homosexual male approaching 50, I’ve spent numerous, largely pleasurable years pursuing casual sex with other men from my teenage years. During my fourth decade, I was in a serious relationship which continued for a significant period, but it never fully satisfied me, because I didn't experience love nor intimately fulfilled. Truthfully, I have always craved casual sex. Every time I start seeing any man, once the newness fades, I always get the urge to have sex with new partners again. Questioning the Feasibility of Monogamy Currently, I'm contemplating if I’ll ever be able to maintain a monogamous relationship. I understand that numerous gay men have non-monogamous arrangements, yet from my observations, they have seemed like hard work, frequently resulting in lots of heartache and envy for everyone involved. In many ways, I want another man to care for me while letting me pursue other intimacies, however I fear the emotional drain this would cause. Is it best to continue to have spontaneous encounters and accept that a long-term relationship is not possible? I’m feeling a bit lost. Every person’s intimate path varies. Avoid considering of your relationship needs or your ability to tolerate different types of sexual unions as fixed. What you need in your current state may well change in the future; eventually you might become less ambivalent and discover greater understanding and a comfortable path … or perhaps not. At some point you might meet a person offering a transformative opportunity to you through mirroring your desires in a holistic fashion … and at another point you might decide that casual connections are best for you. Worrying about what lies ahead and engaging in endless speculation is simply rooted in fear and squandering of your efforts. Try to be present in your relationships, and recognize the worth of every individual you connect with intimately an intimate bond. If and when you are ever ready to strengthen true intimacy with a single person, it will be clear. The psychotherapist practices as a American psychotherapist who specialises in addressing sexual disorders.